Chapter 1
Life: The Strange Voyage

Life is a strange voyage. Some days you glide along thinking you’ve got it worked out. Your rudder is set; your sails are full of breeze.Then voilà, one rogue wave comes along and instantly the bottom drops out of your boat.

If you live on this planet long enough you will experience this phenomena. When it happens, it will defy anything ever imagined.

It can arrive in something as simple as a pink slip. The career you planned to retire from has suddenly vanished.

It can come in a spouse’s, “Golly, I hate to tell you this, but I don’t think I love you anymore.”

A friend experienced it through a phone call from the doctor’s office. “Mr. Hebner, your test results are in. You need to come by for a consultation. Please bring your wife.”

For my sister and me it arrived in a different form and I can offer no help with any scenario except one; the sudden and overwhelming responsibility of helping take care of your aging and ailing parents. One minute we were the children and the next we became the grownups.

If you drop into one of these errant waves and find such a job added to your résumé, take a deep breath and remember: There are many people who pull it off relatively unscathed and intact. They aren’t superhuman or over-achievers, the winds just seem to line up in their favor. For them, it’s a sail around the park-pond that needs no
further explanation.

Then there is the other group, who don’t seem to fare so well. For all those who fall into this club, I offer counsel. If you find yourself ready to scream, cry, or strangle a parent who is acting like a three-year-old, take heart. As appealing as orphanhood may eventually seem, my immediate suggestion would be to rush down to the liquor store and pack as many spirits into your car as possible. Once you’re loaded, headoff as far as the road will carry you. Don’t waste time on scenic routes crammed with diversions. Find the straightest thing on the map and go down it full speed to the end. (They’re called interstates). If you’ll keep yourself pickled for a few years and there’s enough mileage between you and reality, then you’ve got a fighting chance. Otherwise your conscience will do a number on you. Then all hope for a clean escape will melt faster than a chocolate bar on a dashboard.
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